


Perfect

by The_Red_Rabbit



Series: As Heaven is Wide [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Ineffable Family, M/M, book 2 of the as heaven is wide series, from now on we just move forward, ineffable husbands, ineffable parents, no warnings on this one, the first book had all the graphic stuff in it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-01-02 20:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21167141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Red_Rabbit/pseuds/The_Red_Rabbit
Summary: While Aziraphale finds himself quite comfortable with the trials of parenthood, Crowley finds that raising a teenager is more challenging than he'd expected.Book 2 of As Heaven is Wide.





	1. Come Back to Bed

One late night in June, Aziraphale found himself sitting in bed reading a book.

“How was it?” Crowley asked blearily, as he heard Aziraphale snap the book shut. “Did it end differently on this thousandth reread?”

“Oh it wouldn’t dare,” Aziraphale said, softly. He kissed Crowley on the forehead. “I’m going to go put this back.”

Crowley groaned and put his arms around Aziraphale’s waist. “All the way in the living room? You’ll catch cold.”

“I’m an angel,” Aziraphale replied, fondly. “Of a sort, anyway. I can’t _ catch cold _.”

“Just put it on the bedside, Angel,” Crowley groaned. “Just stay in bed.”

Aziraphale resisted the urge to chuckle. “I’ll only be a moment.”

Crowley groaned again. “Well hurry back then or _ I’ll _catch cold.”

Aziraphale got out of bed. “You’re cold blooded, my dear boy. I’m sure you’ll be just fine.”

...

Aziraphale entered the living room with the express purpose of putting the book back on the shelf, but when he entered the room, Ruby scrambled to sit upright on the sofa and hastily closed the book she was reading.

“Sorry,” she said. “I thought you’d gone to bed already. I...shouldn’t’ve taken this without asking, I’m really sorry.” She made to put it back where she’d found it.

“Wait, wait, hold _ on _, my dear,” Aziraphale said, perplexed by this reaction. “What are you reading?”

She hesitated. “I only just barely started it. I haven’t had the time to get to know it yet. I’m really sorry. I should’ve asked first.”

“Ruby,” he said, softly. “What are you reading? I’m not going to be upset with you. I’m only curious.”

She hesitated again. “Oscar Wilde.”

“Oh,” he said, rather surprised but pleased nonetheless. “And how do you find him?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Do you enjoy his work?”

She bit her lip, clearly a bit embarrassed. “I’ve never read him before.”

He smiled reassuringly. “That’s no fault of yours. You had a, shall we say, rather conservative upbringing.” He sat down next to her.

She looked at him nervously. “I really am sorry. I know I should’ve asked-”

“You keep apologizing,” he pointed out. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“They don’t belong to me,” she said, as if he was the one who was being a bit daft. “I shouldn’t touch things that don’t belong to me. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve even been in here-”

“Why not?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“Because,” she replied. “You said it was getting late, and maybe I should get some sleep. But instead I snuck out of my room to come back out here and read without permission.”

“You know you don’t _ have _to go to sleep when we do,” he pointed out. “And do you do this often? Sneak out, as you put it?”

She appeared like a deer caught in the headlights before finally nodding. “Yeah, sometimes. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, my dear,” he said, gently. “I’m sorry I made you feel as though you had to sneak around in your own home.”

“You didn’t.”

He nodded. “Then it’s a holdover from your past. I’m sorry I wasn’t clearer with you, then. You don’t need permission to be anywhere, Ruby. If you want to read, you can. Just be _ very _careful with my first editions, please.” He could see that she was still confused. “You’re welcome anywhere in our home, Ruby, I want you to understand that. Well, with the exception of our bedroom, of course. You’ll need permission for that for the same reason we’d need permission to go in your room. Boundaries, respect, personal space, etcetera.”

She looked skeptical. “What, like you don’t search my room regularly to make sure I’m not doing anything shifty?”

He blinked. “No we don’t. Did we give you the impression that we were?”

She looked at him as if he was insane. “No, but that’s...that’s what parents _ do _.”

“No, that’s what prison guards do,” Aziraphale replied. “And we’d never treat you like a prisoner. Do you understand?”

She thought about this, then nodded. “I do.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. “Thanks, Dad.”

He was very touched by the way that she’d said that so casually, but knew he had to change the subject. “So...why Oscar Wilde?”

“Isn’t it obvious, Zira? She was trying to get closer to you.” Crowley entered the room, wearing a very satisfied smirk. “I came to see if you got lost on the way back to bed.” He turned to Ruby. “He does that, you know. Comes to put up a book, finds himself lost in a new one.”

“Oh hush, you,” Aziraphale said, his voice soft but heavy with the weight of his fondness for his family. “Ruby’s just out here reading a book. ‘S got nothing to do with me.”

“Actually,” Ruby said, somewhat embarrassed. “He’s..._ sort of _right. I mean, I get Crowley because we have a lot of the same musical tastes. And I’ve really appreciated how much you’ve tried to get to know me through Harry Potter, but I don’t...know as much about you. I’d like to have some way to understand you.”

Aziraphale was touched. “This is a good way to go about it.” He suddenly became a bit overwhelmed with his emotions and decided to shove them aside. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, Ruby. We’re going to bed. You’re welcome to stay up and read if you like?”

“No it’s alright,” she smiled. “I’ll go to bed too. For real, this time. But first thing tomorrow, I’m starting the book properly.”


	2. Start Another Story

Ruby Fell was the most curious creature who ever lived, and the way one said that typically said more about them than it did about her.

There was the classic interpretation. Ruby Fell was a girl whose past seemed to begin and end with her two dads. If you tried to ask around and see if anyone else had any knowledge of this girl prior to the year in question, well, they wouldn't say anything at all because nobody would think to ask such a question. She simply is, always was, always will be. A fixture of the weirdness of life among the metaphysical. She was neither one thing, nor the other. She belonged to no thing, and as such could be the most impartial judge of character (that, of course, is her own assertion - she was a suspicious creature in a way that almost could not be accounted for).

This interpretation of her character revealed in the observer something of a conundrum. You were thinking too hard about that which begs not to be thought about. That which begs to remain entirely ineffable, and thus should not be denied this request. 

Then there is, of course, the interpretation of Ruby Fell that her fathers and any teacher who dared to cross her path would soon know: That Ruby Fell was, indeed, _curious._

She was as any sixteen-year-old girl had the right to be: a little absent-minded, at times a bit internal, very frequently focused on the most inane pastimes (at least in the opinion of her father, Aziraphale, who never could understand why his husband and daughter enjoyed terrible television so much). But Ruby Fell had an inquiring mind. A trait that by all rights had to have been inherited from both parents, but none so much as Crowley. One afternoon, the three of them finished watching a documentary about mind control experiments that Ruby had been interested in when Ruby took out her phone.

"What are you doing?" Crowley asked.

"Googling whether classic mind-control conditioning techniques are at all similar to how the army creates soldiers," she replied, not looking up from her phone.

Crowley was mildly surprised that her mind went there, but he supposed he shouldn't be. "Interesting idea. Where'd you get it from?"

"Well a lot of that talked about how they want to isolate you from your support systems so that your only support system is your group, right?" she posited. "And the whole point is to break you down through - what did they call it?"

"Negative reinforcement?" Aziraphale offered.

She nodded. "Right. Negative reinforcement. So they humiliate you as, like, hazing, and make you depend on the group culture and hivemind. And you're not allowed to criticize the group, right, otherwise you're the bad guy. Just sounds like what everyone says bootcamp is."

"Interesting conclusion," Aziraphale replied, almost surprised that she had come to it so quickly.

But this was far from the only time they'd catch her with a question. She'd have them constantly and was always googling something. Aziraphale marveled at her "hand-held device" because the wealth of knowledge in it would've come in handy to him often.

The thing was, not all of her questions could be answered easily by watching a documentary or reading a book or googling an answer. Some questions needed real-time answers. Ruby got into a habit of thinking of a question in the middle of the night and being so moved by her own curiosity that she couldn't help but get up, knock on her parents' door, and ask whatever question might be in her head.

They didn't mind, but also...it was a little exasperating.

"Ruby," Aziraphale said, one morning over breakfast. "I've got a fantastic idea. And before I begin, I want to assure you that I'm not in any way upset with you - nor is Crowley." It was important to add this because any time Ruby felt as if she might be annoying, her self-esteem dropped dramatically. "But we think we may want to add a Question Time to your lessons."

She raised her eyebrows. "Question Time?"

Aziraphale and Crowley had been home-schooling her for some time in hopes of preparing her for going to a real school in the fall, and it was an interesting experiment. Aziraphale schooled her on the finer points of art and literature, with the bit of maths he'd bothered to grasp thrown in for good measure. Crowley had been surprisingly helpful with science (particularly any science about the natural world and space) and he helped Aziraphale fill in any context for historical events that he might sometimes have forgotten. Of course, all this was secondary to teaching her to use her natural abilities, but that's getting ahead of ourselves.

"Yes, Ruby, a Question Time," Aziraphale replied. "This isn't to say we don't enjoy asking your questions as they come - do feel free to keep them coming. But maybe it's best if you start writing down any burning questions you have at night and wait to get answers until the day's lesson. It'll be good practice for when you inevitably have questions for us when you're at a real school and can't immediately ask us."

Ruby nodded. "Right. A real school. Makes sense. Can I ask a question now?"

Aziraphale smiled. "Yes, Ruby."

"Were you ever a baby? Like at some point before the dawn of the universe, did God have little baby angels? Did you at some point have to go through angel puberty? Or were you just created fully-formed?"

He blinked, surprised as always by her line of questioning. "No, my dear, we were never children, in the way you would think of it."

She appeared satisfied. "Cool. Babies are gross anyway. So glad I was born already a teenager."

Aziraphale was baffled by her logic. "How is that both completely accurate and not entirely what happened?"

"I'm an enigma, a mystery," she grinned. "Never one thing, nor the other. A complete contradiction."

"Entirely ineffable," Aziraphale agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So book one of this series hit the ground running with all this drama and pain before getting to the fluff. Book two starts out padding itself with fluff, but we'll get to the hurt/comfort in a bit.
> 
> This chapter is shorter than normal. If I'm being honest, I've been struggling with my depression and anxiety a lot more than usual. As I may have mentioned, I'm very close to losing my job and money is basically nonexistant at the moment and I'm not sleeping or eating a lot. It's kind of taking a toll on how much I can write. But I like living in this world here, so we'll just keep writing. 
> 
> I'm taking a 2 week break from posting again, be back with more then. If you want to see my Halloween cosplay as Crowley, you can head over to my Tumblr.
> 
> Thank you guys for always being so supportive!


	3. Sullen Girl

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Ruby asked, wringing her hands. “What if I blow something up?”

“I think you’re more likely to blow something up if you  _ don’t  _ try to get a handle on it,” Aziraphale said.

“Besides,” Crowley added, putting on his sunglasses as he peered up into the summer sky. “Blowing things up is part of the fun.”

“Don’t tell her that!” Aziraphale reprimanded him. He suddenly remembered himself. “Oh. Sorry, Ruby. I didn’t mean to snap.”

But she was smiling. “I actually find your bickering oddly reassuring?” she admitted. “It’s not, like...actual fighting. You like each other. So it’s cute. Carry on.”

“You’re trying to distract us,” Aziraphale replied with a twinkle in his eye. “It won’t work, young lady. Come on now, buck up! You can do this. It just takes focus. Once you’ve got the hang of it, it’ll be like...second nature.”

She was still nervous so she sighed even as she nodded and gave in. “Alright. What do I do?”

“You’ve got to figure out where you draw power from,” Crowley said.

“As a being in touch with the Divine, I always draw power down,” Aziraphale explained. He reached into the air and made a motion as if pulling down and when he opened his hand again a small red butterfly was sitting in his palm. “From Heaven, you know.” The butterfly took flight and flew around Ruby’s head once before disappearing into smoke.

“And I always draw power up,” Crowley added. He made the opposite motion, as if pulling something from the ground. “From Hell, you know.” Red flames burned the patch of Earth between them and began to coil into a sort of funnel. They twisted and hardened until finally they became a glass rose. Crowley plucked it from the Earth and gave it to Aziraphale.

Aziraphale smiled. “Thank you, my dear. Of course it’s a  _ bit  _ more complicated than that now. Since we’re sanctioned by neither Heaven nor Hell, we must exist purely on our own power. Which means it’s considerably more finite. Before, it could be Miracle after Miracle, with no regard to the amount of energy spent. The more pressing concern was always if our respective Home Offices would notice. But now we have to use our own power, and that means we can exhaust ourselves. We need to pause to recharge.”

“So neither of you draw from Heaven or Hell anymore?” Ruby asked.

“Not as such, no,” said Crowley.

“So...is it necessary to do the hand motions as if you do?” she asked. 

Aziraphale and Crowley exchanged a look, genuinely surprised by this question.

“I...suppose it isn’t,” Aziraphale blinked.

“So why do you do it?” she inquired.

“Eh…Force of habit, I suppose?” Crowley admitted.

“I don’t think we’ve ever thought about doing it any other way,” Aziraphale admitted. “It’s the way we’ve always done it. It’s comfortable.”

She nodded. “Cool. So how do I figure out what works for me?”

Crowley shrugged. “Nothing like you has ever existed. I think you’ve just got to feel it out.”

“Alright,” she said, taking a deep breath. “What should I...what I mean is...What do you want me to do? Like give me basic instructions at least.”

“We’ll start with something simple,” Aziraphale said. “We’ll work our way up to conjuring and the creation of living organisms, but for now...transmutation.”

“This sounds witchy,” Ruby said. “Isn’t it something Anathema should be teaching me?”

“Angelic and, indeed, demonic transmutation requires a different skill set than using human magic,” Crowley replied. “If you can master this, you can think of it as sort of a shortcut. Human magic always takes the long route.”

Aziraphale scooped a small round pebble off the ground. “Let’s start with a basic element. Turn this pebble into a chocolate.”

“Do what?” Ruby laughed in disbelief. “Aziraphale, this is no time for a snack.”

“Come on, don’t be nervous, there’s no pressure,” Aziraphale smiled encouragingly.

“But how?” she asked. “You haven’t told me  _ how  _ to do this!”

“I don’t know how to explain to do it,” Aziraphale admitted.

“You just do,” Crowley added. “It’s sort of instinct.”

“If you clear your head, you can get to instinct,” Aziraphale said. “Which I’m sure you can do. You’ve never let anything limit your imagination before.”

She bit her lip and held back a groan of frustration. “Alright, alright. A chocolate?”

“Yes, my dear,” Aziraphale replied.

She nodded and shifted her weight from one foot to the other while shaking out her arms as if trying to loosen them. 

“Focus,” Crowley reminded her. “Focus on what is now and what you want to be.”

She locked her eyes on the pebble and thought about chocolate. She focused all her energy upon the small object as she reached out to take it in her own hand. She then copied the motion that Aziraphale had made before, attempting to draw power from the sky before bringing her hand down and opening her palm. They all peered inside it. 

“Ah,” Aziraphale said. “Well, I didn’t expect you to get it on the first try.”

Nothing whatsoever had happened. The pebble continued to lay on her hand, completely ordinarily. That’s when Aziraphale and Crowley felt it, just as surely as they felt their own emotions and with no reasonable explanation. They could feel the resentment and self-loathing building up in Ruby.

“Maybe I won’t ever be able to control it,” Ruby grumbled. “Maybe there’s really something wrong with me.”

“No no, my dear,” Aziraphale stammered, saddened by this reaction. “You mustn’t think that way. You’ll get it, given enough practice.” He tried to put a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off.

“Here, let’s try it another way,” Crowley said. “Give me the pebble.” Ruby did this and he held it in his palm. “Now try directing the power towards my hand instead of yours.”

She hesitated, before making a motion as if she were dragging the power up from the ground into his hand. She felt silly while doing it. Instantly the pebble began glowing red and flames sprang from it.

“Ouch!” Crowley exclaimed, dropping it to the ground where it smoldered out. 

“Are you alright?” Ruby asked, anxiously.

“Yeah I’ll be fine,” he reassured her, rubbing his hand. “Fire isn’t such a big deal to me. That wasn’t what we were going for, but it’ll do.”

Aziraphale kneeled on the soft earth and plucked the pebble from it. He put his glasses on at peered at it. “Hm. Interesting. This wasn’t a simple case of summoning fire, but you  _ did  _ actually manage to transform the pebble. Just not the way we’d intended.”

“What is it, Angel?” asked Crowley.

“A burning coal,” Aziraphale explained, getting to his feet. “Ruby transformed the pebble into a burning coal.”

“Sorry,” she said, eyes downcast. 

Aziraphale’s brow wrinkled. “For what, my dear?”

“For being stupid and bad at things,” she said, crossing her arms. “I should be able to get this, but I’m just a big disappointment-”

“You are not a disappointment,” Aziraphale assured her. “It  _ will  _ take some time, and I have faith that you’ll get there. But where There is, well, that’s a matter entirely up to you. We don’t have a set goal for you. We want to help you achieve your goals.”

“Right,” she grumbled. “Sure. And what would be the next step, out of curiosity? Since I’ll never figure out how to simply transform a pebble into a chocolate which is like beginner baby magic?”

“We’ll talk about that when we get to it,” Aziraphale replied.

“But what is it?” Ruby insisted. “You told me I was allowed to ask questions and you’d answer me, are you gonna back out and  _ not  _ answer things like every other grownup? I thought you were different, Aziraphale. You too, Crowley.”

This stung them both. “We’re not hiding things from you, Ruby,” Crowley said.

“We understand that you’re upset,” Aziraphale said. “You’re frustrated and lashing out.”

“Trust me, we’ve spent 6000 years getting frustrated and lashing out at each other,” Crowley added. “We know what that looks like by now.”

“Perhaps we should take a break,” Aziraphale said. “Call it a day. Ruby, you can practice on your own time if you feel up to it. Stick to transforming small inanimate objects into other inanimate objects. Life is a much more complicated balance to mess with. If we don’t master this first, we cannot move on. But for now, I’ll make us some lunch, shall I?”

Ruby rolled her eyes. “Fine. Yeah. Whatever.”


	4. Hard Times

Ruby went to her room and threw herself on the bed. She put on her headphones and blasted music as loud as it would go. Aziraphale and Crowley stood in the kitchen and wondered what they should do.

Aziraphale parted the curtains on the kitchen window and looked out. “The sky is grey now,” he observed. “Chance of rain. All in all, not one of Ruby’s absolute  _ worst  _ moods.” He sighed, letting the curtain drop. “I just don’t know what we can do. I want to make it better for her.”

“Give her time, maybe?” Crowley suggested. “Suffocating her could just push her further away.”

“Yes, but what if she needs us and we let her feel alone? She shouldn’t feel alone, Crowley.”

“I noticed she called you Aziraphale again,” Crowley pointed out. “That has to sting.”

Aziraphale was perplexed. “My dear boy, whatever are you on about?”

“Just that...she called you ‘dad’ before and now it’s back to ‘Aziraphale’.”

“Don’t be silly,” Aziraphale brushed this off. “She called me ‘dad’  _ once _ . Aziraphale is still my name - using it doesn’t indicate that she’s upset with me. It’s her tone that’s a good indicator. I’d rather she called me ‘Aziraphale’ in a nice tone than be one of those teenagers who says ‘dad’ like it’s a dirty word.”

Crowley nodded. “I guess you’re right.”

“I just wish I knew how to help her,” Aziraphale said. “I wish I understood her. She seems so confident and doesn’t take detractions from anyone, but with this…She really genuinely doesn’t believe she’s good enough or capable enough. I don’t understand why.”

“That’s what constant rejection will do to a child,” Crowley said, a tiny note of bitterness coloring his voice. “It’ll ruin you. Not saying she’s ruined - not by a long shot. But it’s a fact that the people who raised her ignored her unless they were being cruel to her. To not have a fractured sense of self-worth after that would be a Miracle.”

Aziraphale nodded, understanding that Crowley was talking as much about himself as he was about Ruby. “I felt it, you know. The minute it dropped. She was nervous but then she just-”

“Hated herself,” Crowley finished. “I know. I felt it too. I always feel it.”

They both realized at once what they were saying, what they’d both not allowed themselves to understand before.

“I do too,” Aziraphale said. “I feel what she’s feeling as clearly as if it were my own emotions. Usually I can sense a small range of emotions from humans, but it’s always external.”

Crowley nodded. “It’s always been the same for me too. But this is different.”

“I’ve told myself that this is ridiculous, that I’m just more sensitive to her moods. I’ve just been-”

“Rationalizing it away?” Crowley said. “Yeah, me too. Because it doesn’t make sense. Why would we be feeling what she is?”

“Maybe it’s time we asked Her,” Aziraphale said, solemnly. 

Crowley groaned. “Something tells me you don’t mean Ruby.”

Aziraphale smiled. “This is going to be so awkward.”

Neither of them had spoken with God since Ruby had been resurrected, and neither of them was too keen on the idea of doing it now. But Aziraphale felt that it was best to waste no time. He turned to a wall that was usually empty and opened a door in it. He and Crowley walked down a flight of rickety wooden stairs into a damp cellar that only existed when they wished it to.

“I still have reservations about having this in our house,” Crowley said as they arrived on the edge of the large rune that could open a channel of communication. 

“I know,” Aziraphale said. “I do as well. But we need Her. Let’s light some candles.”

They did this and went through the motions of calling the Metatron. It was for this reason that they were surprised when they were answered by God directly.

“Aziraphale,” God said, appearing vocally but not physically. “Crowley. To what do I owe this unexpected surprise?”

“We have some questions,” Aziraphale said.

“Everyone always has questions-”

“Yes but ours are important and you’re going to damn well answer,” Aziraphale snapped, having absolutely no patients for games. 

For a moment, there was only silence. “What do you wish to know?”

“We both feel Ruby’s emotions,” Aziraphale said. “Why?”

“The ritual you used to create Ruby’s new form bound her to you forever,” God replied. “Not in any physical way - she doesn’t have to stay in a certain radius from you. It’s an emotional bond. You can feel the base emotions as she feels them, though to understand them you’d have to ask her yourself.”

“And can she feel what we feel?” Aziraphale asked. “Because I hardly think that’s appropriate.”

“Why?” God asked. “What’s happened?”

“As if you don’t know,” Crowley scoffed.

“I’ve been keeping my end of the bargain,” God said. “You have been free to live lives without my interference.”

“Ruby’s experiencing problems adjusting,” Aziraphale said, thinking it best not to beat around the bush. “Or, rather, she’s having problems with her self-esteem.”

“Would you mind if I take a glimpse?” God asked. “I want to honor our bargain, but it might help me to have context. I won’t peer into anything that is not relevant.”

“Absolutely not-” Crowley began.

“Yes,” Aziraphale said. “In the interest of helping Ruby, you may take a glimpse of our last hour.”

There was a brief pause while she did this. “Ah. Yes. That is unfortunate.”

“We don’t need your opinion about anything,  _ especially  _ our parenting,” Crowley snapped. “We just want the facts. What is this connection with us and Ruby?”

“Can we break the connection?” Aziraphale asked. “It feels like an invasion of her privacy.”

“There is a way to break the connection,” God said. “But you won’t do it.”

“Why not?”

“Because you can’t. You’re not capable of it.”

“Is that so?”

“You were emotionally bonding to the girl  _ before  _ the ritual created an actual connection,” God explained. “These are bonds forged by love. For the rest of your lives, you will feel her joy and her sorrow and her pain because that is what a parent feels for their child. Her pain is your pain. Her joy is your joy. For her to suffer is for you to suffer. The only way to not feel this is to stop loving her.”

“And she can feel all that we feel as well?” Crowley asked.

“Of course not,” God replied. “This is a one-way connection, you must’ve known that. If she could feel how proud you are of her or could feel even a fraction of your love for her, she’d know she could never disappoint you in any way that mattered. As it stands, she’ll continue to jump to the worst possible conclusion and overreact. It’s how her brain works.”

“Which is  _ your  _ fault,” Crowley reminded her, a fire blazing in his eyes. “You made her this way. You should fix it.”

“I can’t fix it, she’s ordered me out of her brain,” God reminded them. “She’ll have to heal on her own. She’ll need your help to do that. Is that all? Or did you have more questions?”

“Oh just bugger off then,” Aziraphale snapped, dismissing her. 

They could feel her presence leave them, and were once more alone in the cellar. 


	5. Kitty Collar Tight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short. I've been going through a lot lately and this time of year is really hard for me because trauma. I'm taking a break over Thanksgiving because I have to work a lot. Be back the first Thursday in December.

They sat down to lunch and for a few moments, everything was silent.

“So we might have to talk about these application forms I’m filling out,” Aziraphale said, if only to break the ice. “You know you might have to pick an actual middle name?”

“Why?” Ruby asked.

“Because normal humans don’t just have ‘C’ as their middle name.”

“It doesn’t matter to me,” Ruby replied. “Maybe you two should decide? Don’t dads normally get to name their children?”

Aziraphale and Crowley exchanged a look, both happy that she was slipping back into calling them ‘dads’ so easily.

“You sure you want us to do that?” Crowley asked. “A name is such an individual thing. We wouldn’t want to stick you with anything you didn’t like.”

“Oh I still retain full veto power,” Ruby assured him.

“Alright,” Aziraphale said. “What about...Cassandra?”

Ruby laughed. “That’s a hard  _ no _ . I've lived that life. Try again.”

“Circe?”

Crowley laughed as well. “Now you’re just naming random mythological figures.”

“Think you can do better, Crowley?” Ruby challenged him.

Crowley thought about it. “What about Celeste?”

They all paused, thinking about it.

“It’s sort of a ridiculous name…” Ruby said, slowly.

“But it means heavenly,” Aziraphale considered.

Crowley made a face. “It means celestial,” he corrected him. “I’m meaning that in relation to the stars. You know how much she likes astronomy and the concept of aliens. Ruby Celeste Fell: a fallen star.”

Aziraphale beamed at him. “I always forget that you have the soul of a poet, my love.”

“I like it too,” Ruby agreed. “Knowing me, I would’ve just called myself Charlotte or something. This is better. But just so you know, we should keep telling people it’s ‘just a C’ so that we can keep confusing them by coming up with new meanings for it constantly.”

Crowley chuckled. “That’s a promise.”

...

Ruby crept back into the kitchen after lunch, still hungry but not having the heart to say so to Aziraphale. She opened a cabinet and reached inside.

“You could’ve told me you were still hungry,” Aziraphale said, making her jump. “I would’ve made you something.”

She closed the cabinet quickly. “Sorry, I just didn’t want to be a bother...Is it alright if I have some ginger snaps? They’ll hold me over until dinner.”

“Of course it is,” Aziraphale replied. “They’re  _ your  _ ginger snaps, we bought them for you. You don’t have to sneak around to eat any food in this house.”

“Yeah, I know,” she said. “I should’ve asked first.”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all,” Aziraphale said. “They’re your snacks. You don’t have to ask permission to eat.”

“I thought that’s what I’m supposed to do. It’s  _ your  _ house.”

“You know it’s  _ your  _ house too,” Aziraphale reminded her. “This is your home. That makes this  _ your  _ food too, unless otherwise specified. I’ll say it again: You don’t have to ask permission to eat when you’re hungry.”

She narrowed her eyes and peered at him as if she was trying to figure him out. “That...doesn’t make sense.”

Aziraphale chose his next words carefully. “Ruby...Were you required to ask permission to eat? Before, I mean.”

She understood what he was asking and swallowed hard, crossing her arms. “Yeah,” she said, stiffly. “Had to ask permission to do anything. So I didn’t do much.”

“Did you...did you go hungry a lot?” He was horrified by the notion, but was trying hard not to show it.

“Yeah,” she shrugged. “But you knew that about me. The way I ate the first time you met me...I never knew when I’d be allowed to eat again. I’m sorry, I’m being such a downer. It doesn’t matter. It literally doesn’t even matter. I should just shut up.”

This saddened him. He crossed the room and took her hands in his. “Ruby, I want you to listen to me and  _ really  _ listen. That place you lived before, it wasn’t a home. It was a prison. A person should never be made to feel like they need permission to exist in their own home. We want you to be here because we love you. We want to make a home where you feel safe being yourself. And that means if you have something to say, we want to hear it. Even if it’s a ‘downer’. Because it matters to us.  _ You  _ matter to us. You have nothing to feel sorry for.”

What he said had shaken her to the core, and she was trying hard not to cry. She decided to shake it off. “Even though I’m such a disappointment?”

He looked at her with such sincerity that she couldn’t help but believe him. “You have never disappointed us, Ruby. You are so much more than we could’ve hoped for. We never thought we’d have kids, but now I wouldn’t want our life to be any other way. So go on. Have a snack if it’ll make you feel better.”

She smiled and let go of his hands, opening the cabinet once more. She frowned. The ginger snaps were up on the top shelf. Even her new, longer legs weren’t long enough to get her all the way up there. She hopped once, trying to get to it. No luck. She tried again.

“Need a little help?” Crowley asked, coming into the room.

“No, I’ve got it,” she said, frustrated. She hopped one more time and was surprised to suddenly find herself standing securely upon the very shelf she’d been trying to reach.

Everything in the kitchen came to a halt.

“Uh...Ruby?” Aziraphale said, timidly.

“What...the  _ fuck  _ just happened?” Ruby asked.

“I think we just discovered your animal form,” Crowley said.

“My  _ what?” _

Crowley dug out his cellphone from his pocket and used the camera to show Ruby what had happened.

“Woah is that  _ me _ ?” She was so shocked that she nearly fell off the shelf and had to scramble with her newfound claws to climb back up. 

Aziraphale softened and picked her up, holding her to his chest. “I’m afraid so.”

Ruby had turned into a small cat with markings that were nearly identical to Freddie’s, except the inverse. Freddie’s markings were black with red spots, but Ruby’s were red with black spots.

“How do I change back?” she demanded.

“We’ll work on that,” Crowley said, unable to stop himself from laughing. “Ruby, you’re so tiny. You could fit in a teacup.”

“It’s really cute,” Aziraphale admitted. 

“It’s not  _ cute _ !” Ruby bristled, arching her back and lashing her tail threateningly. “I’m not  _ cute _ ! I’m ferocious! And fierce!” They only laughed harder. “Stop  _ laughing!” _

“Guess you really are a cat person,” Crowley joked.

“A cat person who’s about to claw your face off,” she sulked.

Aziraphale put her down just as Freddie came into the room. Crowley began to laugh.

“Freddie’s always been a smallish cat,” he explained. “She was runt of the litter. But compared to you, Ruby, you make her look like a giant.”

And it was true. Ruby’s cat form was absolutely puny by comparison. Freddie eyed her with interest.

“Look at you,” she said. “Such a small thing with fur sticking up everywhere.” Freddie came closer then and began grooming Ruby.

“Gross!” Ruby said, disgruntled. “What are you doing?”

“Sorry,” Freddie apologized. “Count it as a mothering instinct. You  _ are  _ really very small.”

“Not small,” she sulked, though she continued to allow Freddie to groom her. “If I had to be a cat, I could  _ at least  _ be something scarier. Crowley’s form is a snake, for fuck’s sake!”

“Not everyone has a scary animal form,” Aziraphale revealed. “Some people are just softer at their core. That’s not a bad thing.”

Crowley frowned. “I think I just realized that I’ve never seen  _ your  _ animal form, Zira?”

Aziraphale suddenly became embarrassed. “Oh I...I don’t often break it out, is probably why.”

Ruby was suddenly very interested and shook off Freddie so that she could hop on the counter and look at him. “Aziraphale, what’s your animal form? And can I see it?”

“Oh I don’t know…”

“It might help her be less self-conscious, Zira,” Crowley reminded him.

Aziraphale hesitated. “Oh alright! You promise not to laugh?”

“We make no such promise,” Crowley and Ruby said in unison.

He sighed. “Alright, here it goes…” He began shrinking and grew white fur as he transformed into an animal that was around the size of a large dog.

Ruby tried not to laugh, but was unsuccessful. The force of her laughter turned her back into a human, but she remained sitting on the counter. “What are you? A mutant gerbil?”

Aziraphale’s ears twitched irritably. “Not a gerbil. I’m a capybara.”

“A  _ what _ ?” Ruby had never heard of such an animal.

“Well there you have it,” Aziraphale replied, shortly. “Crowley gets to be something sleek and terrifying, but I get to be essentially a large fat rodent.”

“Oh my god,” Ruby said, since they’d just watched the Princess Bride a few days prior. “You’re a rodent of unusual size!” 

“I couldn’t be something dignified,” Aziraphale grumbled. “Like a white cat or a goose.”

“A goose?” Ruby asked, incredulously. “You’d want to be a  _ goose _ ? Geese are horrible, mean, snobby creatures...Actually you’d make a rather good goose.”

Crowley began chuckling. “Oh come on, Zira, you’re so cute!”

“Really,” Ruby said. “I like it. You’re all...friend-shaped.”

He transformed back into a human. “Well so are you,” he pointed out.

She did suddenly feel a bit better. “Shut up, silly not-goose.”


	6. In the Arms of Flowers

Ruby kept trying her hardest to make her magic work, but she just couldn’t. She was doing very well with the casting and potion making that she was learning from Anathema, but that was all magic tied very closely to the earthly elements. To perform Miracles, she’d have to rely on herself. And she couldn’t trust herself. She mostly practiced in secret in order to avoid disappointing her parents. One day she decided to practice in the green house.

She cupped her hand over a small tulip. “Come on,” she whispered. “Just bloom brighter. Please?”

Nothing happened.

She swallowed her disappointment. “Alright...bloom!”

To her surprise, it did. Its petals reached higher and its colors became brighter. 

“Yes!” she whispered, pumping her fist triumphantly. “I did it!”

But her face fell as it instantly began to wilt. 

“No!” she whispered desperately. “No no no no! Crowley will  _ kill  _ me!” She cupped her hand around it. “You don’t have to bloom, just go back to how you were, okay? Please?” 

But it only wilted faster. That’s when she heard someone coming and elected to hide.

Crowley began watering his plants, though he looked a little troubled. Aziraphale came rushing in.

“Do you feel that?” the former angel asked.

Crowley nodded. “I do. Ruby’s upset again.”

“Not just upset,” Aziraphale said. “She’s having some  _ profound  _ anxiety. Help me find her?”

“I’ll be right there,” he said, putting down the watering can as Aziraphale rushed out of the greenhouse. Crowley really was intending to go look for Ruby, but his eyes fell on the wilting tulip. “Alright!” he shouted, his irritation serving as a temporary distraction. “What’s this? Are you wilting?” 

Ruby noticed that all the plants around her were shaking, and she tried to shrink back into the foliage.

“ _ Wilting _ ?” Crowley repeated, his rage growing. “You know that this is unacceptable! I’ve been a bit lenient on you, of late, because I’ve been in a good mood, but that stops now! I won’t allow  _ wilting  _ in my  _ greenhouse _ ! I’ll have to make an example of you! This cannot go unpunished! After all I’ve given you! You disappoint me like this?” 

Crowley picked up the potted plant, and at the same time spotted slight movement in his peripheral vision. He looked up and his eyes locked with Ruby’s.

“Ruby,” he said, softly. “I didn’t...I didn’t realize you were in here.”

He knew at once that he’d made a grave error, because she looked every bit as frightened of him as the plants did. She got up from her spot on the ground and rushed past him, transforming into a cat as she did so.

“Ruby, wait,” he said, helplessly. But it was too late. She was gone. 

He followed her out into the yard and found that the previously cloudless day was now overcast with gray clouds and that there were paw print-shaped patches of dead grass everywhere that Ruby’s paws had touched. He sighed, knowing that this was all her. He’d upset her again, and she was losing control.

Aziraphale opened the door in time to let her bolt into the house and looked at Crowley with accusatory eyes. He’d felt what had happened, even if he didn’t know exactly what had happened.


	7. Breaking Up the Girl

“What were you thinking?” Aziraphale hissed, as a bolt of lightning crashed across the sky.

“I know,” Crowley said softly, eyes downcast.

“Shouting like that!”

“I know.”

“You _ know _that’s a big trigger for her!”

“I _ know _ ,” Crowley said. “I didn’t even know she was in there. I always make an effort not to shout around her because I _ know _it upsets her. I just...I forgot.”

“You can’t do that,” Aziraphale snapped. “You’ve _ got _to be conscious of her triggers at all times!” He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “You’ve got to fix this. Go talk to her.”

“Why don’t you do it?” Crowley replied, a bit more defensively than he meant to. “She likes you better anyway.”

“Me?” Aziraphale asked, perplexed. “Since when does she like _ me _better?”

“I don’t know exactly when it happened, but she _ does _! She’s so focused on getting your approval lately - reading all your books and calling you ‘dad’-”

“Oh for _ heaven’s sake _ ,” Aziraphale snapped. “I thought we went through this. Are you _ really _ standing here right now being _ jealous _of me for having a relationship with our daughter?”

He scoffed at this idea. “Of course not, I don’t get jealous-”

“Really?” Aziraphale raised his eyebrows. “Because it _ sounds _like you feel left out now that the entire focus isn’t on you.”

“What exactly do you mean by that, Aziraphale?”

Aziraphale sighed heavily. “When we first met her, you two connected instantly. You were so much alike. She spent a lot of her time with you, getting to know you. Now she knows you - at least on a basic level - and she’s shifted her focus and you feel left out. I think I'm as much to blame for it as anything else. We spent all these years getting to a place where I could be comfortable giving you all of my attention and letting you know that you're my whole world. And now I've let a teenage girl into our world. You can't cope with having my attention diverted from you. But it's silly. I mean you can’t _ seriously _ be jealous that she’s calling me ‘dad’! Do you _ want _her to call you ‘dad’?”

Crowley hadn’t thought of this. “No,” he admitted, sullenly. “Not really.”

“Good, then, that’s settled.” Aziraphale crossed his arms and glared at his husband. “You’ve got to fix this with her. Because you still understand her better than I ever will. Besides, you’re the one who, as they say, fucked that up. So I can’t fix it for you, much as I wish I could.”

"Alright. Fine. I'll fix this. Yeah. I'll fix this. I can fix this." Crowley turned to leave the room before a thought struck him. He turned back around. "Angel?"

Aziraphale was gazing out of the window again. "Yes, my love?"

"I'm your whole world?"

"Yes, and you're also a blithering idiot. Which, of course, makes me like you more because I'm one too. Now _go_."


	8. Perfect

Crowley knocked on Ruby’s door, not expecting a response. He wasn't sure she could hear him over how loud her music was.

“Come in,” Ruby said. “But not all the way in. Just...stand in the doorway.”

Crowley was hurt by this but figured he deserved it. He did as she asked. “It’s me,” he said gently, trying not to startle her.

Ruby was sitting on her bed, not looking at him. “I know,” she said. “I knew you’d come eventually. You like Simple Plan?”

"What?"

"Simple Plan. The band I'm listening to. Bet you think it's stupid. A dumb angsty emo teen band. But it's relatable. If you'd give it a chance, I think you'd like it."

He fumbled to find something to say. “I’m sorry,” he said. 

“Are you?” Ruby asked, that slight edge of panic entering her voice. “Because I don’t understand why you would shout like that.”

“It’s an old habit, Ruby-”

“Do you always shout at them when they disappoint you? What were you planning to do to it?”

“Ruby-”

“Because it wasn’t the plant’s fault,” she insisted. “I did that. It was _ my _fault that it was wilting, so you can’t punish it for something that I did. I won’t let you take out your cruelty on something else - I’m not Josephine or Christina.”

“I don’t understand,” Crowley said, helplessly. “What do you mean it’s your fault?”

She got up off the bed and began to pace restlessly. “I was practicing my Miracles, trying to at least make the colors brighter. But the same things keep happening. Every time I try to Create, I weaken the life that already existed. It’s the same as when I try to make life from scratch. Everything I touch dies. What if I...What if I was born out of death so now all I can make is death?” She stopped in her tracks and began crying.

Crowley moved toward her. “Ruby-”

She held up her hands to stop him. “Don’t touch me.”

This stung. “You have to know I’d never hurt you, Ruby. I understand that the shouting must have been triggering for you-”

“You don’t understand,” she insisted, voice rising somewhat hysterically. “I saw the way that you were treating that plant. It disappointed you. You didn’t even ask questions or try to understand. You just punished. What will you do when I disappoint you? What happens when I don’t get into drama school or when I never get a handle on my powers? What then? Will you kick me out too?”

He suddenly understood completely. “I reminded you of him. The man who raised you.” He paused to wait for an acknowledgement, but the fact that she didn’t give any only confirmed his suspicion. “You have to know that I would never be disappointed in you. You couldn’t disappoint me if you tried. Even if you don’t get into drama school or _ whatever _ends up happening, you could never do anything that would make me or Aziraphale love you any less. You're our daughter, no matter what.” He watched her wipe her eyes still without looking at him. “I’m sorry I shouted. Would you come outside with me? I want to show you something. But only if you’re comfortable.”

She looked a bit nervous, but slowly nodded. The thunder and lightning stopped as well as the whipping winds, but it still continued to rain.

…

She followed him out behind the greenhouse to a small patch of land at the edge of the woods, staying close to him under the umbrella but not close enough to touch him. 

“Crowley, why are we out here?” she asked.

“Because I want to show you this,” Crowley said. He began walking into the forest before he noticed how apprehensive she was. “Ruby, you can trust me. But if you feel unsafe, we can go back.”

“No, it’s fine,” she said, though she was still tense. She followed him into the woods.

They didn’t have to walk long before they hit a small clearing. 

“This is what I wanted to show you,” Crowley said.

He led her into a small garden that was left to grow wild out here in the sun. 

“What is this?” Ruby asked.

“It’s my own secret garden,” he replied. “This is every plant that has ever disappointed me.”

“I don’t understand,” she said. 

“I don’t really punish them. I talk a big game to keep the others in line, but this is where they really go. Not even Aziraphale knows about this place. But I’m going to stop doing this, because you’re right. I shouldn’t be shouting and purposely terrifying any living creature. I think it's...You know my mother kicked me out. Threw me out like I was nothing for just asking questions. And so I've done this ever since. I've grown my own living things that depended on me then I've systematically terrified them into submission or thrown them out of the garden. I guess I was trying to cope. Work out what I'd been through. But I can see how that is wrong." He sighed. "Parents, they...tend to mess us up, don’t they? Then we pass it on to our children, sometimes indirectly. Through our legacies. Things we’ve done in the past that go on to come back to harm our children. If I could just take it back...that one choice...It only took six thousand years for me to see the purest consequence of my actions. Even having them revealed as part of the Divine Plan doesn’t absolve me…”

Ruby was suddenly aware that they were no longer speaking about the day’s events. “Your actions? Which ones are those?”

He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. There’s no changing the past.” He turned to her. “Ruby, I don’t want you to ever worry about letting us down. You can’t. All we want for you is to be safe and happy. There’s no expectation for you to be anyone you don’t want to be. A child should never have to worry about letting down their parents. The real crime is when a parent lets down their child. And I have let you down.” He watched as her eyes filled with tears again. “And don’t try to deny that I’ve let you down, because I know I have. Any parent who makes a child feel frightened has failed that child. And I'm sorry. I promise to never do it again, if you’ll just give me a chance to make it up to you. I don’t want anyone to make you feel the way our parents made us feel ever again. And that includes me. If I ever do anything to make you feel uncomfortable in any way, I want you to tell me. I won't be mad. I just want you to be happy." He paused, realizing that he was out of things to say. "Would it...would it be alright if I hugged you now? It’s alright if you don’t feel like it-”

But his words were stopped when she hugged him instead. And instantly, the rain dissipated and was replaced with a warm, sunny summer evening once more.

After a moment, Crowley pulled back and put a hand on her shoulder. “Let’s go back inside, yeah? Bet Aziraphale’s already inside making us something to eat.”

She smiled at him and he took that as a good sign. He folded up his umbrella and put an arm around her as they walked back to the house.

"Simple Plan?" he asked her. "Really?"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't make fun. They're angsty about bad parenting without crossing into trauma territory. If I need something emo but not _too _emo, I go there. I'll make you a fan yet, Crowley. Mark my words. Have you singing along to 'Perfect' in no time. You'll relate."


	9. Loveology

They returned to the cottage and had a nice, if slightly awkward, supper. Aziraphale and Crowley both didn’t know how to bring up the day’s events and Ruby wasn’t even sure if she wanted to talk about it.

Aziraphale decided that he couldn’t take the awkwardness any longer, and decided to try to lighten the mood. “At least one thing’s settled,” he said. “We’ve finally established once and for all that I’m Ruby’s favorite parent.”

Ruby raised her eyebrows. “That you’re what?”

Aziraphale nodded. “Took Crowley long enough to figure it out,” he said. “I mean the signs were all there. You’re taking an interest in my hobbies, you took  _ my  _ last name when we adopted you, you called me  _ dad  _ once…”

Ruby understood that he was teasing and couldn’t help but smile and roll her eyes. “Yeah and the fact that my middle initial is a ‘C’ and I rejected all of your name ideas out of hand before picking the first one Crowley threw at me has no relevance to this conversation whatsoever.”

Aziraphale nodded again and took a sip of his drink. “None whatsoever.”

Crowley glanced back and forth between the two of them, realizing all at once how completely silly he’d been this whole time. Ruby could see the conflict in his face and softened, taking his hand. “I want you to know something, Crowley.”

“What’s that, Hellcat?”

She smiled. “You are a  _ huge  _ dummy.”

Crowley nodded and smiled, relief spreading through him as he realized that things were returning to normal. “You know, I  _ am  _ actually smart enough to have figured that out on my own, thanks.”

Aziraphale was smiling too. He was pleased that they were getting along again. “How are you feeling, Kitten?” he asked Ruby.

She pulled away from Crowley and looked at Aziraphale, the seriousness of the situation returning to her. “I don’t like that this keeps happening,” Ruby said, anxiously. “I mean I can’t keep being so out of control. How am I ever supposed to go to school and have a life if every time I get upset, I start a storm?”

“It’s a good point,” Aziraphale said. “We  _ will  _ have to get you some better control. But I have no doubt that you’ll get there. You mustn’t think that you’re hopeless, because you’ve just barely come into these powers. They’re more natural instinct for us, but you were born human. It’ll take some time for you to adjust, but you will.” Aziraphale was suddenly struck by an idea. “Ruby, didn’t you say you wanted to learn magic tricks? Human ones, I mean?”

Her eyes lit up. Crowley groaned.

…

Aziraphale stayed up late into the night teaching her human magic tricks. It turned out she was rather adept at sleight of hand, which surprised exactly no one. That small distraction was enough of a confidence booster that they talked no more about the other events of the day.

Crowley found himself amused entirely against his will while watching them at it. He still thought it was undignified and a bit embarrassing, but it was nice to see the two of them happy.

“I guess you found it,” he said, finally.

“Found what?” Ruby asked.

“That thing that brings you two closer together,” Crowley explained. “That thing that helps you two understand each other.”

“Oh hush, you,” Aziraphale said fondly.

“Alright I will,” Crowley yawned. “I think it’s time for me to get some sleep. Don’t be long, Angel? I might catch cold.”

“You’re cold blooded, darling,” Aziraphale assured him with a smile. Crowley left the room and Aziraphale watched him go before turning to Ruby. “That’s not an accurate statement, of course. He  _ is  _ cold blooded, but that doesn’t mean he can’t get cold. Snakes can’t internally regulate temperature so they rely on external methods. I try to keep the house as warm for him as possible.” 

She smiled at him slyly. “I just  _ bet  _ you do all you can to keep him warm,” she teased.

He had gotten rather good at picking up on her teasing and decided to give the same back to her. “I do my part, yes.” He took his mug off the end table and took a sip of his tea, allowing for a mischievous glint to enter his eyes.

She groaned through a chuckle. “I regret saying anything, please don’t elaborate.”

Aziraphale noticed that she was having trouble keeping her eyes open. “Maybe you should get some sleep as well. It’s been a long day.”

"I'm alright," she smiled.

"Are you? I know it was hard for you today. I know we can be a bit...Well, you know. But we are trying. Crowley's really trying. We just forget sometimes, you know? You're so very strong, but you've been through so much..."

She could tell he was getting upset and she looked at him for a moment before transforming into a cat and climbing onto him and curling up on his belly.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Sleeping,” she said.

“Can you get comfortable?” he replied, mildly surprised.

“Yeah,” she mumbled. “You’re soft.”

Aziraphale smiled. “You say that like it’s a good thing.”

“What do you mean?” she asked. “Of course it is. Good, warm, soft Aziraphale...” Then she fell asleep.

Crowley returned some time later. He’d become lonely in the room by himself and came to tell his husband that it really must be time for bed. “Angel-”

Aziraphale pressed a finger to his lips and indicated the sleeping kitten on his chest. Crowley softened, understanding now why the angel hadn’t moved. He crossed the room to sit next to his husband.

Aziraphale didn’t want to wake Ruby, so he gently rested his head against Crowley’s shoulder. Crowley understood this gesture and moved so that their heads were touching. They’d discovered several centuries earlier that leaning their heads together opened a psychic channel of communication, which is where the phrase “put your heads together” came from. Of course if you asked them how exactly they came to this conclusion, they’d abruptly change the subject.

_ I’m sorry _ , said Aziraphale.

_ For what?  _ asked Crowley.

_ I just know I never said it _ .  _ We’re not good at apologies, you and I. We never learned how to make them.  _

_ That’s a trait we get from Mother, I think. She never apologizes to anyone but always expects apologies herself.  _

Aziraphale smiled.  _ I think that’s true enough. _

_ But what is it that you’re sorry for, Angel? _

_ For the mixed signals. For pulling away every time I let us get too close. For painting you as a villain every time we did. For allowing Heaven to treat you the way it did. _

_ I didn’t expect you to stand up for me. You never even stood up for yourself. Every time you slipped up and told me something about Heaven, I’d just...I wanted to be there for you. I would’ve had words with Gabriel. _

_ Which is precisely why it couldn’t happen. I wasn’t...ready. If you’d stood up for me then, it would’ve been...I’d have to make a choice. And I wasn’t ready to. I would’ve been worse to you than I had already been. _

_ You weren’t so bad. _

_ I stopped talking to you. I almost completely cut you out after… _

Crowley nodded.  _ But I forgave you for that. If I hadn’t, why would I have come to you for help when the apocalypse was imminent? I just wanted to be with you. In some way. I just had to be. _

Aziraphale swallowed and blinked rapidly, finding this difficult to talk about.  _ I told you that I didn’t even like you. That we weren’t friends. I’ve said some really nasty things to you. _

_ You were afraid- _

_ That doesn’t make it alright. I’m genuinely sorry. You were never the enemy. You’re my dearest friend and I wish that I had treated you better. _

_ I wasn’t always the best to you _ , Crowley pointed out.  _ I distinctly remember calling you stupid and planning on leaving without you. _

_ Reactionary,  _ replied Aziraphale.  _ You’re always reactionary. And you always apologize. You were kind to me the first time we met. Kind in a way nobody else ever had been. And I responded with suspicion and fear because what could you be if not my greatest temptation? _

_ You forget how kind you were _ .  _ You talked to me at all, even though I know you’re trained to not even listen to demons. You gave away your flaming sword and lied to God about it, which I’ll admit I found highly attractive. But you were open and vulnerable. Not intimidating and cold like the other people I’ve known. And you shielded me with your wing when it rained. Me! A demon! Your natural enemy! I loved you for it. _

_ I just want you to know I’m sorry. _

_ And I just want you to know that it isn’t your fault. I always understood at the end of the day. After I stopped being angry with you. _

Aziraphale smiled.  _ After you’d had a few drinks, you mean? _

Crowley chuckled softly.  _ A few drinks and maybe some sad 80s pop. I did resent you a lot. I couldn’t understand your loyalty and I wished I could have it.  _

_ You have it now. I’m on your side. _

_ Where you belong. _

And that’s how it came to be that a snake, a capybara, and a kitten slept curled up on the sofa that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support this year! I'll see you next year!


	10. Firewood

The next day Aziraphale and Crowley asked her to meet them behind the greenhouse.

“What are we doing out here?” Ruby asked. “I was practicing my conjuring.”

“We were thinking,” Aziraphale said. “Since you have an animal form, maybe you have wings as well.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Wings?” She shook her head. “No, I think I’d notice by now.”

“You might not,” Aziraphale pointed out. “They’re normally tucked away, out of sync with this plane of existence unless you call them forth.”

“Alright,” she said, shaking her shoulders as if trying to loosen them up. “I’ll bite. What do I have to do to find out?”

“Close your eyes,” he said. “Concentrate. Just feel your wings stretch. Let go.”

She closed her eyes, feeling a tiny bit ridiculous. After a moment, she gave up. “This is stupid, it’s not gonna work.”

“Ruby,” Aziraphale said with a smile. “Look.”

She glanced over her shoulder and had to do a double take because a pair of wings modeled after the wings of a bat had extended from her.

“Woah!” she marveled. “Wicked!”

“Was expecting more feathered plumage,” Crowley admitted. “But this is much more fitting.”

“Now we can teach you to fly,” Aziraphale said.

Ruby whipped around to face him. “_ Fly?” _

…

Ruby was a clumsy flier, initially unable to keep her wings under control. She kept almost falling out of the sky because she’d overestimate herself, and one of her new parents would have to swoop in and help her right herself before she could hit the ground.

“You want to go a little higher?” Crowley asked, after she began getting the hang of it.

“You think she’s ready for that, Crowley?” asked Aziraphale.

“I’m ready for it!” she protested. “How high?”

He zoomed up ahead of her at top speed. “See if you can keep up!” he shouted back at her.

“Oh it’s _ on!” _she laughed, narrowing her eyes and following as closely as she could.

They raced at speeds that no animal could safely travel, and Ruby finally caught up to him in the vacuum of space. 

“Where are we going?” Ruby asked, still marveling at the fact that she seemed to be able to breathe even out of Earth’s atmosphere.

“We’re almost there,” was all he’d say. “You should slow down a little.”

“Why?” she scoffed. “So you can win?”

“No, because we’re about to start our descent and if you’re going too fast you won’t land properly. I don’t want you to crash and hurt yourself.”

She rolled her eyes but slowed down anyway. She took the chance to look around properly. She took in the vast nothingness of space, occasionally broken up by stars and asteroids and space debris. Then her eyes landed on two large glittering moons that flanked a red one.

“Wait,” Ruby said. “Are we going where I think we’re going?”

Crowley smiled. “Usually you catch on quicker.” He angled his wings for the descent. “Ready? Remember how I taught you?”

“I remember that most of the times you tried to get me to land I just ended up crashing,” she said, nervously. “And that wasn’t from this height.”

“Just keep yourself steady,” he reminded her. He held out a hand. “You can hold onto me, if it helps any.” He said this rather stiffly, as if it was just a practical afterthought.

She saw right through this, but was grateful for the emotional distance it afforded her. “Yeah, thanks,” she said, taking his hand. 

He guided her descent back to solid ground, and she skidded clumsily in the blue sand. Aziraphale had arrived before them, so he was there to catch her before she could fall completely over.

“Thanks,” she said, stiffly. She let go of Crowley’s hand and looked at him expectantly. “What are we doing here, Crowley?”

“You’ve been doing so well,” he explained. “Learning so much control over your new abilities...and I thought, well, I should reward you for that.”

“How?” she asked, crossing her arms.

He looked around, gesturing broadly at the landscape. “This place is beautiful, you said it yourself. But it isn’t finished. I let it go because I lacked the imagination to see it through.”

“You didn’t lack the imagination,” Aziraphale said, kindly. “You were simply depressed. Many a great artist has struggled with lack of creativity when they’ve been depressed.”

Crowley waved a dismissive hand. “Regardless of the reasons, this project remained unfinished. And I’ve come to realize that I can’t finish it without your perspective. Ruby, I want you to help me finish it.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, absolutely floored by the idea. “I mean, what if I mess it up? My creations so far haven’t been on this scale and none of them have worked…”

“We’ll help you through it,” he assured her. “With your creativity and our steady hands, we can create something truly beautiful. Something we can be proud of.”

“We think we’ve been making a mistake with you,” Aziraphale admitted apologetically. “We’ve been teaching you how to do these things as if you’re expected to do them all on your own. I think that was us forgetting that even though you’re very mature for your age and grew up fast, you’re still a teenager. So instead of putting pressure on you to do things on your own, we’re going to do what any parent should do. We’re going to take your ideas and help bring them to life.”

She beamed at them, the light from the moons reflecting in her eyes. “Where should we start?”

Crowley shrugged. “Your call."

She considered it. “It’s too quiet,” she admitted. “There should be...crickets, at least. Some sort of musical wildlife.” Her eyes widened. “What about frogs? We can have them in different sizes and colors and they can be bio...bio…” She turned to Aziraphale. “What’s the word for when animals glow naturally?”

Aziraphale squinted, trying to figure out what word she was talking about before it dawned on him. “Bioluminescent?” he offered.

She clapped her hands. “Yeah! Bioluminescent! That’s the bitch!”

He was bewildered and amused. “...The...bitch?”

She smiled fondly at him. “I just mean that the frogs can be bioluminescent in different colors and they can change colors when they croak! Oh! And they should be able to croak in different tones so that they can form little frog choirs. Like make the big ones tenors and bases and make the tiny ones sopranos…”

…

They worked together, creating a vast ecosystem on this far off planet. They created roses made of blue glass that hummed when the wind blew through their petals and vast purple forests full of magnificent fruit that Earthlings couldn’t dream of. There were neon glow-in-the-dark hummingbirds that sang haunting melodies and fireflies that lit up in a variety of colors that could change at random, and even jellyfish that Ruby said would be like the “glow sticks of the sea”. There were large magnificent cephalopods and translucent bats as well. All of these things and more came from the bountiful imagination of Ruby Fell, and with Aziraphale and Crowley's combined powers creating them they didn’t need to recharge as fast.

“How’s it looking?” Ruby asked.

“It’s beautiful,” smiled Aziraphale.

“I like the Glow Moss,” said Crowley. 

“The glowing fairy rings are stunning, my dear,” said Aziraphale.

“There are a _ lot _of mushroom varieties on this planet,” Crowley observed. 

“Always thought mushrooms were cool,” she admitted. 

“Really?” She’d never expressed an interest in plants before and this was a rather unconventional variety for her to gain an interest in.

She nodded. “Can’t really explain it. Mushrooms are just weird. There was a fairy ring in the woods behind the barn one summer. I used to go out there and sit in the middle and read.”

“The Irish are simply stunned by this admission of bravery,” Crowley said. “Then again, I’m banned from Ireland so…”

“You’re banned from Ireland?” Ruby asked.

Crowley could see that Aziraphale was just itching to tell this story - Saint Patrick was another historical figure he had a feud with. “Long story,” Crowley said. “They’re not big fans of snakes there. Anyway, tell me about these fairy rings.”

She shrugged. “Dunno. It just felt like a safe place. It was quiet and nobody bothered me there. But I still like moss and mushrooms. They’re weird and kinda cool.”

“I knew you liked to eat mushrooms-” Aziraphale began.

“Yeah, but I don’t just mean the edible ones,” she explained. “I like the little toadstools that look like where fairies sit in picture books. I like the poisonous ones and the colorful ones and the weird looking little motherfuckers. You know that some mushrooms glow in the dark? That trips me out. It’s why I made so many of those here. Is all Alice in Wonderland, I guess.” She trailed off and watched a blue glow-in the dark butterfly drift by. This creature distracted her enough that she followed it for a minute or so.

Aziraphale shook his head with a bemused grin. "No attention span whatsoever. Much like you, dear."

"I have an attention span!" he argued, indignantly. "I'm simply...selective."

Aziraphale gazed at Crowley fondly. "Sure you are, my love. Sure you are."

Ruby turned back around and watched the butterfly zoom around Aziraphale and Crowley. Crowley took Aziraphale’s hand and the two ancient beings looked at each other for a moment as if nothing in this world was quite as beautiful as they found each other. She couldn’t help but smile.

“My god, Aziraphale,” she teased. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide?”

He blinked rapidly as they both snapped out of the trance they’d been in. “I beg your pardon?” he asked. “What does that even _ mean _?”

She shrugged with a crooked smile. “I don’t know, man. I gift the message, it is not for me to interpret it. But it might have something to do with the fact that you always look at Crowley like he hung the stars in the sky…”

Aziraphale smiled warmly and gazed up at the moons. “Look around you, Ruby.” He turned back to Crowley. “He might not have hung them all, but he did hang a rather _ substantial number _of spectacular stars.”

Crowley smiled back at him and kissed him, and Ruby hid her face. “Oh no, I’ve made it worse,” she groaned, even though it was plain to see that she thought it was cute.

They broke apart sheepishly, though Aziraphale did look rather proud of himself.

“So any final touches before we go home?” Crowley asked Ruby, disentangling himself from his husband. 

“Uh...let me think…” She cupped her hands in front of her and concentrated really hard. When she opened them again, another butterfly flew out. But this one was different. It was pretty much a living cartoon - something straight out of Roger Rabbit, as far as Crowley was concerned. Its wings were shaped like tiny brown-and-yellow loaves. 

“What is it?” Crowley asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Ruby asked. “It’s a Bread-And-Butterfly!”

Aziraphale chuckled. “Clever pun.”

“Which you know well isn’t exactly mine,” Ruby said to him. “I ran out of ideas so I pillaged from Wonderland. They can’t all be original ideas, you know.”

Crowley nodded, clearly amused. “Fine. Bread-And-Butterflies it is!” He cupped the prototype in his hands and when he opened them again a whole fleet flew out, really alive though they looked like simple cartoons. They zoomed around Ruby’s head, earning a giggle from her.

“It’s just too bad that God won’t allow us to make anything humanoid,” she said. “I think this place could do with some goth mermaid siren things and some little vampire fairy things.”

Crowley just looked at her for a moment, full of fondness. “I think it’s finished now, Hellcat.”

She smiled at him and nodded. “Yes, I think so too. Your greatest creation.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” he replied, putting an arm around her shoulders. “I can think of one better.” He looked up and noticed Aziraphale gazing fondly at them. “What is it, Zira?”

He blinked rapidly before smiling. “I sense it again,” he said, simply.

“Sense what?” Crowley asked.

“Love. This planet is dripping with it.”

Crowley just gazed at him tenderly. “Let’s go home, Angel.”

“Yeah,” Ruby teased. “Before one of us starts to belt out ‘Can You Feel The Love Tonight’ despite the fact that it is DEFINITELY not appropriate to this situation.”

“‘Can You Feel The Love Tonight’,” Aziraphale repeated. “You know, we’re-”

Ruby groaned and rolled her eyes. “Is this where you tell me that you’re actually really good friends with Elton John?”

Aziraphale contemplated his next words carefully. “Perhaps that’s a story for another time.”

Ruby turned around to look over her planet one more time. "Don't you think we should give it a name? Now it's finished, we should give it a name."

"What did you have in mind, Hellcat?" asked Crowley.

"I think...I think we should call it 'Camp'."

Aziraphale blinked. "Camp? Not exactly a glamorous name."

"No but think about it," she insisted. She gestured to the moons. "Three great big disco balls make the blue sand and silver waves glisten. Every creature and plant is neon and glow in the dark and reflects some kind of tacky subculture aesthetic..."

"Oh," Crowley nodded. "So it's _camp_."

She nodded. "Yeah. But also...It's camp. The first time we came here, we set up camp." She gestured to a small area near the treeline. "Right there."

"So it's..." Crowley rubbed the back of his neck as he took this in. "A camp...camp."

"I like it," said Aziraphale.

"So do I," admitted Crowley.

"Yeah?" she smiled, relaxing a bit now that her idea had been accepted.

"It's a nice idea," smiled Aziraphale.

Ruby gazed at her creation with satisfaction. "The Planet Camp. Our own personal Haven."

Aziraphale smiled. "I _do _wish we could tell Elton about this..."

Ruby groaned at this remark and unfurled her wings before they took off into the sky once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so ends book two! I'm taking a two week hiatus before I begin posting the third (and final) book of this series. 
> 
> Happy New Year, everyone! As I keep saying, I didn't particularly enjoy most of the last decade, but I don't know how to live in another one. But we must go forward! Better things must be ahead! 
> 
> See you in two weeks!


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